Neighborhood Parking Guide

Written by Peter Carmel | 29 April 2011
Posted in Articles - Internet

Dear neighbors.  We are fortunate that we do not have a serious parking problem like some really large cities. However, there are times when there is a shortage of parking spaces on our street.  To help with this, we ask that you please observe the following guidelines:

1. Whenever possible, park on the street instead of your own driveway.
2. Park in front of your neighbor’s house instead of your house.
3. Make sure that you park your car in such a way that there is not enough room for another car to park in front or behind your car.  This is a skill that takes some practice but is easily mastered, even if you have a small car.  We call this “Takin’ two”.
4. When parking on the street and there is not enough room for your car, go ahead and block someone’s driveway.  Leave it parked like this for weeks.  See number 3 above.
5. Empty the trash in your car onto the sidewalk or street, preferably in front of your neighbor’s house.  See number 2 above.
6. Feel free to park your car on the sidewalk and your lawn.  This greatly enhances the curb appeal of your home.
7. Park at least 24” from the curb, especially small cars.  That way everyone will think your car is bigger.
8. Do extensive vehicle repairs and restorations in your front yard.  Be sure to take your time and leave cars and trailers in various stages of disassembly around for all to see your handiwork.
9. Honk your horn loudly to announce your arrival.   Tell your friends to honk when they come to see you.
10. Buy extra cars for each member of your family and store them on the street, preferably in front of your neighbor’s house.  See number 2 above.
11. Have your cars and motorcycles outfitted with the loudest exhaust system available.  Every Sunday morning, parade up and down the street, preferably before 8am, at least twice, and as slowly as you can.